As you can tell, nothing has changed!

I have decided I am staying at the sober living house in San Jose until I get my section 8 voucher (5 year wait). So last night I heard I have to do Zoom meetings. I’m OK with that. Most of the time I’m caught up worrying about how I will make money. For example I wanted to take DevOps but in California know AWS like the back of your hand they don’t heed you at all. That’s just LinkedIn and Glassdoor though, I haven’t tried Indeed yet. Tech is really ugly to me but things are improving thanks to atomoxetine.

Developer operations is pretty simple stuff. I can pipeline with CircleCI and Git – I learned how it works from the Youtube commercial. My only problem is I have a lack of desire to do any of this stuff. It would take a breadth of skills to beat employment. To really be able to assert you can do the work and have the experience (since experience is built through homebrew tek labs, and no middle of the road jobs exist for DevOps where you get trained).

Seems I am more amused and entertained by just surfing through social media or listening to Youtube Music. I’ve approached this issue numerous times for some reason I lack the self control to stop myself and start doing like Ansible docs reading or LinuxAcademy for instance. That’s my life, and it sucks because I’m getting old. I’ll never know the joys of driving my own car or having a hot girlfriend because I’ll always be on SSI unable to break the curse of being cash poor. Anyway I didn’t drag you here to read about my struggle. It has, time and time again, shown that LinkedIn does not give a fuck about me or my struggle.

I’m unable to piece together value content for a blog. All I can do is keep a journal for my outlet and try to find a way to be happy. There is hope that atomoxetine kicks in and gets me going on stuff I wouldn’t normally otherwise do. A cure for chronic mental unwillingness! Get that Python for DevOps book out and start step by step, procedure, by procedure, go go go and develop into the skills that allow me to write a cover letter/resume that advertises them. Then I would have to have a powerful sense of obedience towards the work and actually want to do it.

I get to use Zoom conference technology to do an AA meeting 3 times a week. New house rules came down on me last night. He said “You are all chilling on laptops time to do meetings!”